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The Hunger Moon Cycle

“There is no insurmountable solitude. All paths lead to the same goal: to convey to others what we are. And we must pass through solitude and difficulty, isolation and silence in order to reach forth to the enchanted place where we can dance our clumsy dance and sing our sorrowful song – but in this dance or in this song there are fulfilled the most ancient rites of our conscience in the awareness of being human and of believing in a common destiny.” ~ Neruda

It’s mid-February here in Vermont.  Once again. Each year has its subtle differences, and I learn so much from watching each little shift come around again.  Whether it’s temperature and weather patterns I feel, or emotions and consciousness shifts I watch in myself and others.

This is part of the power in staying in one place for so long – I’ve heard that yogis do not stay in a place for more than 3 nights, because longer, and they’d create karma with that place.

Well, I have a lot of karma here, in Vermont, in New England.  Whether I’m here to work it out, or I’m creating more of it – well, I’m sure it’s both. (Til next time…)

It’s not just the weather that returns.

Full Moon Feast, by Jessica Prentice, is one of my favorite books. A tome I turn to year after year, as the cycles go around.  I just flipped open to the pages that align with this season, and came upon the section called “Hunger Moon.”  I didn’t have to dive in, once again, very far, to feel the inspiration stirring.

My first thought was – “This idea seems antiquated, not really relevant to our modern lives.”  Most of us can go to the grocery store any time we want, and buy almost any produce or product we dream of, at any time of the year. Even mid-February (and most-likely 24 hours per day.)  Most of us are blessed not to experience lack or hunger in our modern lives, ever.  So, this seemingly is a nice little chapter talking about past traditions, but not mine.

I had been thinking hunger, as in lack of food.  That traditionally, at this time of year, the food stored from Summer harvests is getting low.  It’s literally the bottom of the barrel of parsnips, or beets, or winter squash.  And, as I’ve read, it’s tougher to hunt wild game because the snows are deep and cold, and the game is also scarce – maybe because only the strongest are roaming about, and many of the animals are in the deep sleep of hibernation.

Most of us are no longer as deeply reliant upon nature for our actual sustenance.  But perhaps the samskara, or mental patterns, of fear and scarcity are still there, still affect us.  This is currently my experience.  And has been a pattern for the last few years as I’ve cultivated deeper awareness of it.

Cycles of collective consciousness

It’s no argument that our body/mind/spirit beings are influenced by many forces. Within and without.  The planets (astrology), the food we eat, our environment (weather, air, season), the collective consciousness and thought forms, as well. One of my yoga teachers says that 99.9% of ‘our thoughts’ are not actually our own.  This may sound woo woo, but when I mention this to others in conversation, many agree that this feels true. How about you?

I heard in a podcast recently that most people pass away on Mondays in January and February.  Yes, partly it is the physical – the extremity of weather and the rise in rates of colds and flus on their weaker immune systems- though we can not discount the mental/emotional cycles throughout the year as well.

A young woman in our community recently committed suicide.  A friend called me for support with debilitating anxiety.  Clients I am working with are feeling a lot of fear around finances.  Feeling deep sadness and compassion, my husband and I had a conversation about depression, and the cycles we have seen in ourselves, and within other members of our community over the past few years.  This time of year just seems to be particularly tough.  What is that? Is it the darkness, the cold, the slump after the holidays?

In my humble experience the Hunger Moon time of year seems to be a time when an ancient cycle of fear and scarcity arises. And perhaps it’s so tough because our modern lives are so isolating.  Since we don’t outwardly see our community suffering in the same ways, we have trouble aligning with this natural rhythm, and struggle against it. Many things that come up are completely beyond our control, but or mental and emotional state may be.

This time of year there is a lot of waiting, stillness, an inertia.

We feel a lack, and then to bring balance, fear drives us to hoard what we do have rather than share it.  We are coming to the bottom of our barrel.  And if we feel alone, this can feel like the end, truly hopeless – and we lose sight that Spring is coming, will come, must come around again.

Perhaps if we are aware that this is just a natural dip, we won’t struggle so hard against it.  We might use its gifts wisely.

In this world where seasonal shifts and even climates don’t matter much – greenhouses, international shipping of food products and medicines, electric lighting, climate controlled environments – there is less and less cause for pause in production of foods.  We don’t have to go hungry.  But I’m certain the quality of what is produced is lower.  The nutrients lacking, the colors, texture, taste deficient.

Perhaps feeling this fear proves that our emotional body is still aligned with these patterns in nature.  There is still a Hunger Moon cycle.

In mine I am trying to see this as an opportunity to find space in my days, rather than drive to fill every moment with work.  To practice openness when I want to contract out of fear. To burn karma by allowing energy the build then release it back into the universe rather than inflame myself in anger.  To feel grateful for what I do have. Time with my son. Grains in glass jars on my counter.  A neighbor that offers raw milk for free.  A friend who provides us fresh eggs.  The list goes on.

I’ve been given time and excuse to pray and ask the universe for assistance.  Opportunities to experience humility, in what ways exactly I do not know yet.  My husband says ‘bring it on.’ I am not quite brave enough to challenge the universe like that, but I call to it for guidance and support in my surrender.

I feel inspired to share this with you, as you are part of my community. Not for a pity party, but out of hunger for connection.

How are you?  Are you experiencing this Hunger Moon energy?

Feel free to list 5 things you are grateful for in the comments below.

 

~ When I asked a yogi how I should treat others, he answered, ‘What others?’ ~

 

 

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Maya Abdominal Therapy: My Story Part 2, Conscious Conception

I am in love with Maya Abdominal Therapy, just like I am in love with Ayurveda.

Combining the two is a dream when it comes to women’s health.

A couple of years ago, I wrote a post sharing my experiences with ATMAT (which I will use now instead of writing out Maya Abdominal Therapy) and how it helped to heal my extremely painful periods.

I want to continue sharing my story, and tell you how I feel this helped me into easy conception, comfortable (ish) pregnancy and vaginal home birth.

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A Recap

ATMAT is a massage technique and healing modality that comes from Belize and Mayan Medicine.  Its founder is Dr. Rosita Arvigo, and she lives and studied in Belize with a Mayan Medicine Man, Don Elijio, for years.  There may be many ‘Mayan’ abdominal massage techniques, but I come from this specific, authentic lineage.  There is use of massage, self massage, herbs, yoni steaming, and spiritual healing modalities.

I came across this technique when I was looking for additional help, beyond Ayurveda, for periods which were becoming debilitating.  According to Ayurveda, I was experiencing Vata like symptoms, and great stagnation, leading to pain and brown blood, as well as long cycles (35+ days sometimes).  You can read more details in that first blog post – basically, I found out that my uterus was tilted, leading to more stagnation. I found a therapist local to me, and received a few treatments from her.  My pain did not completely disappear, but became more of just a nuisance.

I knew I needed to study this modality, so I did. I also knew that I wanted to conceive one day, within the next year or two, and believe that healing an imbalance in my womb was vitally important before conceiving.

How it works

ATMAT works by improving blood flow and homeostasis, as well as actually sometimes changing the uterus position.  From the Eastern medical perspective, if there is pain, there is some sort of stagnation going on.  This could be stagnation of energy, prana, or emotions, mind, or actually tissues or physiology.  One affects the other, eventually, anyway, so really, no matter on what level, we know the flow is not…flowing happily.

Massage helps encourage flow.  And what can impede flow greatly are misplaced organs, especially if they are blocking veins or arteries or lymph vessels.  The uterus is relatively mobile in the abdominal cavity – its nature is to move and grow, holding and feeding the fetus as it does so.  Falls, accidents and exercise can jostle the organ very easily, especially when she is full and heavy before and during menstruation.

A misplaced uterus is not the only cause of stagnation, nor is it always the case she is misplaced when there is pain.  But it is quite common.  Many women are told this by the gynecologist, that is it ‘normal’ and that there is nothing to do about it.  I was told this.  It is very common, but it is not ‘normal’ and there are things that can be done, or at the very least help manage the symptoms, naturally. (As in, without using hormonal birth control to mask the issues.)

Homeostasis is just an awesome biproduct of proper flow.  Good stuff gets to where it needs to go, and wastes can easily leave.  This helps the body maintain health and balance, because, really, that’s what it wants to do. We just need to get out of the way.

My process | Conscious conception

I have been seeing another local practitioner for 3 years this month.  About 18 months before I conceived my son, I started receiving treatments.

She mentioned to me that I should go to at least 3 sessions. After about 2, my next cycle was closer to 28 days, and almost pain-free. I was hooked. I go for massage every other month. It’s part of my health care plan for myself.   She gives me a full body massage as well as working on the uterine/abdominal area, because she happens to be a massage therapist too (this is also how I offer my sessions). This is something not all practitioners do. So if you’re looking to book, be sure to check in ahead of time what to expect.

I also use Ayurvedic herbs, castor oil packs, uttar basti, yoni steams, and daily self care massage of my uterus to maintain the benefits.  It is important to have guidance with thee modalities, as there are times when it is contraindicated to use them, especially when trying to conceive.

About 6 months before my husband and I agreed to begin trying, we stopped drinking any alcohol, and did an Ayurveda home cleanse.  We did another, 3 months before.  We started more openly inviting a new being in.  We did some intention setting, and he even found some chants that felt important to him.

I was charting my cycles, learning about when and if I usually ovulated each month, and how the practices I was doing affected my cycle.  It was really cool to see the temperature shift each month!  I found that I usually ovulated between day 14 and day 20, depending on if my cycles were 27 or 32 days, which is what they tended to fluctuate between.

To our excitement (and surprise!) the first month we tried to conceive, which happened to be a 32 day cycle, we found out we were pregnant!  I felt excited, scared, hopeful, and all sorts of indescribable emotions.  But it was amazing knowing I did my best to bring a healthy being into the world.

Pregnancy and postpartum benefits

I also received massage during my pregnancy. ATMAT has many benefits, and can be perfectly safe after 20 weeks.  The massage helps to keep the uterus centered in the pelvis, relieve stress and strain on the ligaments, and my favorite, aid sluggish bowels.

I am a small person, and it was important to me to have the best chance at a vaginal home birth as possible.  I believe that the techniques helped keep me as aligned as possible so that could happen without any intervention.

And post partum, I have received a few treatments as well, after I stopped bleeding.  I have more awe and respect for the uterus than I ever could have imagined before, and I want to continue to care for her!  I am also extremely curious to find out what my post partum periods will be like, now that so much has changed.

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As you might have gleaned, there were multiple levels going into my journey to pregnancy and motherhood.  I started with ATMAT, but I learn how to chart my fertility signs, cleanse, and balance my hormones and my cycles with herbs.

I am more inspired than ever to put this all together for other women.  Though I really only wrote about ATMAT here, Ayurveda has an traditional and beautiful protocol for preparing for conception, as well as powerful womb healing and hormone balancing practices.  I look forward to sharing more on this on the blog in 2016.  If you’re interested for yourself, reach out and contact me  – this excites me so much, I want to talk about it, share it, and help you do the work. It really works. And it seems that, in regards to reproductive issues, western medicine stops falls in what it has to offer.

And just a note:

You don’t need to want to get pregnant to do this work.

You don’t need to be of childbearing age to do this work.

All the uteri deserve TLC!

Love,

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What alternative healing looks like

IMG_1989Yum.

One of my favorite novelists, Tom Robbins, mentions in one of his books that there are two mantras we can choose from: Yuck or Yum.

Through which lens do you peer?

I’ve been musing on this topic the last few weeks.  Not which mantra to choose, but what complimentary and alternative healing really looks like.

I have been weighing my experiences of healing after birthing a baby, and my clients experiences when they come for appointments, and hearing about what some friends have been struggling with in the ‘regular’ health care system.

I am going to share three examples.

A friend of mine was treated for Dengue Fever a couple of months ago, which she caught while visiting Mexico.  She was treated in that country, and sent home to the US.  Her major symptoms were gone, cleared up, but she is still experiencing discomfort and complications.  She has the most basic healthcare plan through the state, which is $250 per month. Her insurance plan does not cover pre-existing conditions.  Even though she has latent TB.  And even though the recent infection could cause flare ups. Even though that could be a national health concern.  Since insurance doesn’t cover it, no one will see her.  Well, not no one. Her acupuncturist got her right in. And she came to me with only a days notice for massage to help with painful joints.

A new client came to me for Maya Abdominal Therapy for help with painful periods.  Her periods had been getting more and more painful – to the point of leaving her writhing on the bathroom floor, near to vomiting each month. Her mother was concerned and encouraged her to make the appointment (she is 23.)  Her gynecologist would only prescribe pain meds or birth control.  She thought there must be another option, rather than just masking the underlying problem.  So we have begun to work together.

I have experienced anxiety during pregnancy and post partum.  This is something completely new for me.  I am not at all interested in taking prescription medications, which may be the only option I am presented with if I go the Western medical route.  With my training, and support of other practitioners (important!) I feel confident in using CAM to facilitate my healing.

So, where do we go from here?  The actual path is going to look different for everyone, but there are three things I have found are congruent in all plans: Support, maintenance, and what I want to emphasize here, pleasure.

It takes some support

We’re usually looking for a quick fix.  And this is understandable – when we feel bad, we want to stop suffering.  Nowadays, most of us also prefer a more natural approach as well, though quick and natural don’t always go together.  

For small discomforts, say indigestion of some sort, CAM can work really well, and pretty immediately.  And those affects can be long lasting, too.  For chronic illness, or deep seated issues like reproductive imbalances, etc, it often takes time to bring balance to the system.

Years ago, I started going to an Arvigo practitioner for Maya Abdominal Therapy to help with my painful periods.  She recommended trying at least 3 sessions to see results. I still see her almost monthly, even though I know how to do my own self care just fine.

The same thing happens for my Maya clients – they ask if they can keep coming after 3 sessions.  Their periods may be better, but if they skip a month the pain comes back.  Or they just like to keep having a reminder to bring more focus, care and love to their health, and a monthly meeting with me helps them do that.

This is not a trick.  I believe it’s one benefit of the treatments – the returning, I mean.

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This is why I rarely offer one-off consultations anymore,  There is too much pressure.  Too much on me, to give you everything I’ve got, and too much on the client, because it takes context to want to integrate many of the changes.  It takes time to learn the context.  And again, it’s part of the process to have someone to come to regularly to get care, to feel vulnerable, to let go of the world outside for a moment.  Usually it takes time, takes relationship, to build up trust in the space to do so.

It takes some effort

My son was born 5 months ago at the time of this writing.  It has offered me another opportunity to do some healing myself.  There are times of emotional upheaval, and physical pain, which I do not normally experience.

I have been desiring some huge explosion of healing, some large shift I’d feel immediately…some ‘big bang’ in the right herb, panchakarma, or perhaps a pouring fountain of grace from the divine.

What I have found to be true, even to my chagrin, is that it takes daily input to actually heal, rather than just continue to competently cope with the problems.

It matters if I drink coffee or not. Every day. It matters if I get to bed early enough. Every day. It matters if I actually, finally, do 15 minutes of alternate nostril breathing. Every day. It matters if I do abhyanga. Every day.  The days I do not, I feel off my center, The days I do, I can feel myself coming back toward a new normal.

This is what alternative healing looks like.  Repeated action.  Reaffirming experiences.  Returning to that healing space.

It should feel good | Follow your bliss

When you have the experience of feeling good in your body, a lot can shift.  Coming in for a massage starts to encourage you to really look at what else you’re putting in your body.  How you’re living your day to day, where you are putting your energy. It might encourage a little more self love, knowing pleasure can come from this vessel.

Honestly, I think this is the most important coming in for me and my right now.

A massage may act as a catalyst, or inception of the idea to take better care of yourself.  Doing it regularly keeps the momentum going, keeps you moving in the direction you want to go.  If you stop, or go once a year, or twice, it’s hard to expound on the benefits.

I may not have solved my friend’s underlying problem in one massage, but she felt really good afterward.  Her joint pain subsided for a while, and she felt taken care of when she was feeling pretty lost and scared.  Relaxation, affirming touch and some oil brought her into the healing response in her body and mind, even if just for a hour or so.

When I joined my first Yoga Teacher Training, I remember that it seemed like a lot of the students were quitting their jobs.  Learning more about yoga, and starting to feel good in their bodies, they wanted to align their life with how they were feeling.  And that took some courageous steps.

How do you think you’d feel if you got a monthly, or even bi-monthly massage?  Don’t let your mind immediately go into how much that would cost…think about how it might change your life.  What if you had two hours per month where you met and talked with someone, and dedicated that time totally to you, and to improving your self and your health? Someone encouraging you to cook for yourself, sharing new recipes with you, talking about how to make life more satisfying?

How would your body feel?  How would that affect your every day life?

Zen and the Art of Regular Maintenance

Ayurveda emphasizes the power of regular maintenance.  Daily self care practices, and connection to daily and seasonal rhythms are the crux of  healing in this way. Seasonal cleansing is part of the larger cycle of rest and repair, a reminder to come back to good habits, the junction of the seasons.

In Maya Abdominal Therapy, one of the most important and affective parts of the modality is the self care massage the client is taught to do between sessions.  In my own personal experience, as well as with my clients – when the self care is done, the healing happens much more quickly and the benefits are maintained.

As I mentioned, I now work with my clients of Ayurveda for a commitment of 3 months, 6 months, or 1 year.  I totally get it that you’ve got to trust, got to jive with a practitioner before diving in.  Most of my long distance clients read my blog, and know what ( who 🙂 ) they are getting into, and I offer all of my clients a free 20 minute consultation before deciding.

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I might go on to say that there is another ‘perk’ to these practices.  There is really no going back to the way it was before.  I see this with my cleanse clients. With the clients undergoing Panchakarma where I work as a therapist.  With my Healing Diet students, too.  And this is another reasons it’s so important to have support, or a community, like a yoga studio you feel at home in.  These changes hit at the core cause of the problems, which are often at the core of who we’ve been for a while, who we think we are.  Support will help you realize this is not a step backwards, but an evolution.  An evolving into a more subtle being. So perhaps we can become more aligned with our purpose here, because we can now read the signs.  Evolving into our true selves, for living a more authentic life.

 

 

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Are you Eating Good Food? Part 3

When I was out in California at Spirit Weavers Gathering this Spring, I learned about 3 medical models.  There is the ‘Wise Woman Way,’ the ‘Heroic’ model, and the ‘Scientific’ model.

These three traditions of healing have different values in relation to about 25 or so subjects – this chart explains each of them as a symbol (for example Scientific world view is linear, heroic is round, Wise Woman, a spiral), and showcases the different perspectives on the role of the healer, the body, the disease or imbalance, treatments, and many more.  I have taken a photo of it, so you can see what I mean:

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There are a few ways that I feel Ayurveda falls into the ‘Heroic’ category too often.  For example, check out the lines “Healer says’ and ‘Disease’ and’Body view.’  Lots of cleansing, purging, viewing body as dirty.  Now, I totally agree and have felt that cleansing is important to healing.  So I’m not saying that is ‘wrong.’  It’s more the view, the approach.  The subtle difference is how we talk about our bodies and our imbalances.  What I love most about the Wise Woman approach to medicine is that it is the most empowering of the client or patient or individual.

I have felt this sort of “heroic’ energy in Ayurveda before – especially earlier on in my practice.  This is also what discouraged me from thinking I could help any one – as many of us do, we undermine the knowledge we do have. I, and my colleagues, was asking ‘Who am I to heal someone?’ ‘How can I help someone with an advanced disease?’ These turned out to be the wrong questions, and all it really takes is a shift in perspective.

What I have come to realize over my first 5 years of practice is that I have adopted the Wise Woman way of sharing Ayurveda – I am not the healer, or the hero.  I help people find that in themselves, by showing them the patterns in nature. The patterns that Ayurveda outlines quite nicely.

I am offering my 10 week course, The Healing Diet, for the third time now.  And I am not ashamed, nor afraid, to shout it from the rooftops.  Each time, I believe in this way of sharing the knowledge, the information, more and more. Each time I am able to sit even farther back, and just watch the Ayurveda, the Ayurvidya, speak and flow through my work and my words.

You’re here because you believe in natural ways of healing and well being.  Do you have the tools? Are you able to practice that believe, to live it to feel what healing feels like in your body?  I find that even the believers don’t have the right tools, even if they have the knowledge.  And that’s who this course is for.  Whether you have digestive troubles, or other aches, pains, and imbalances, or not.

And even so, if you are the lucky one who has the right tools, come in and get the incentive, the support, the guidance, in a community that shares your values.  Needing support is human. Community is what makes us human.

In The Healing Diet we embody what we learn. It’s not just adding to our already full headspace.  Come in. Do. Be.

I’ve extended the Early registration pricing one week because I wanted to get this out to you earlier, but alas, new baby demands more ebb and flow.

Thanks for being here. I look forward to living and learning with you this year.

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PS: Judi was kind enough to share her experience in The Healing Diet – she joined us last Spring, put in good effort, and was a successful member! Thank you, Judi! See you in our THD continuum program.

 

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Love,